Almost Time

Time to take a breath, time to take a look back and time to take a step forward. Another year is nearing it's birth. I often feel like it is an opportunity to review the last year as well as set plans and priorities for the new year. Maybe I should have a "Mini New Year" semi annually? Hmmmmm....

I had dinner alone with Marissa last night while Steve and Javan attended a going-away dinner for one of his Marines. Originally, I was a little upset that our family plans for the evening of grilling some nice thick steaks and hanging out changed so quickly to attend the going away. As well, I know it is a little odd to drag your whole family along so I knew it would mean of evening of odd man out for Marissa and I.

Marissa and I decided to head out for dinner ourselves and I must say that I am so happy that we had time to just share together, just her and I. During dinner, out of the blue, Marissa mentions how guilty she felt for haveing such a large plate of food, refills of drinks and all the bread she could want while so many others have nothing. How wonderful! How amazing and happy this makes me feel to know that this little person we have raised can think beyond herself. This allowed an open door for more wonderful conversatioal topics such as compassion, humility, a giving heart and being true to herself. What a wonderful blessing in disguise our forced dinner became!

Almost time to begin a new year with new adventures for the Hedrick Clan - Maybe we will have more blessings than not this year just like the little one above.

A year of superficial living

December 29th 2009. This was the last time I visited this site...

Odd how you can miss yourself once you return to see your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Lately I feel like I no longer know who I am or what I stand for as I twirl about this thing called life. Never really paying attention to the things that really matter but superficially managing it all.

Superficial - concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; not deep or penetrating emotionally or intellectually.

This is what I am because I have let priorities fade like the color of summer leaves drifting into fall. It brings about a sense of sadness of things missed, lost and surenderd; things left unsaid, uncompleted and unnurtured. A place of guilt and severe sadness as you come to realize the damage superficial lives can cause.