This is what Marissa asked me today as I rambled on about the effects of the evil, devastating cancer that continues to consume amazingly wonderful people that we know and love. Steve Hedrick Sr died 2007 of the results of lung cancer. My Dad has fought and at this point overcome cancer, both of these men struggling through their own pain all while keeping all those who love them comforted by their words and faith.
The story continues, Mrs.Taylor (my 6th grade teacher) recently informed us via caringbridge that her husband was recently diagnosed and is currently being treated by means of a radical surgery to save his life. All this after after Mrs. Taylor has too been treated for cancer years ago.
Terri, another friend of ours has undergone treatment for CA and currently they continue to say they find clues of cancer in her blood but can not locate it on any scans. How fair is that? It is like dangling the hope of wellness and health right in front of you but just not quite being able to reach it. This is who Marissa was talking about when she asked such a loaded question.
I am not sure as to why I had to get up at 2:30AM and write this(so I may ramble), Marissa's words keep ringing in my ears "Mom, why do bad things happen to good people?" and you know what? I couldn't answer her! I could not give my daughter a reason because I too was literally sitting there asking the same thing! Why God? Why? Why do some people who murder, lie, abuse, steal, drug-addicts and so on continue with life without intense pain of watching their loved ones clammer
for their health and well-being while others who share your word and love with the world suffer with no complaints?
I know, I know there is the logical reason of "This is a mountain they will climb and with faith will show us all, they will either go into remission, be cured or possibly succumb to their illness but all while teaching us". You know what? I don't want to be taught by other peoples misfortunes, other peoples pain. Why can't their lights to continue to shine for the Lord and be as bright as the spirit he has made them, to be a beacon in the night for those of us who search for solice in God's love and plan. No more pain, no more tears, no more being scared, God heal these people and all those we love who are not mentioned here ravished, recovering, in remission and cured of this process of evil. Let us learn by the good they do, they happiness they bring, make them a pillar of hope and strength for the lives they touch.
So to answer my daughter? I am not sure, I don't know if I ever will be. The whole "God has a plan" can stumble out of my mouth because I know he does but what does that give to a 12 year old?
My thoughts are with you all and your families this season...
1 comment:
Written to my e-mail account:
Cindi, Your response and sincere care has deeply touched me. Your dilemma to Marissa's question is an age old question. I've even studied it in Bible studies and have answers circled in its text. I was once told by a quadriplegic I had speak to students at an FCA meeting that God only allows troubles in life to those He felt could handle it with His grace. He felt privileged God had selected him. None of this makes perfect sense but I do know we will someday see the reason and someone somewhere will be the better for it. I just know from my own cancer I have become a better person, have my priorities straight and now rely on God rather than my own understanding. Mike is already reevaluating his life and how time should be spent during our short years on earth (which we plan to be many!)
So, Marissa, Life is like a piggy bank. Right now learn Bible stories about all God's heroes, say prayers, be good to others and thank God for all the good things in your life. These are deposits into your "piggy bank" of life. Then, one day when tragedy strikes, and it will, you will have faith and peace to withdraw from that bank you've so faithfully deposited into and you will be able to go through the fire and be refined to pure gold.
Much love, Janie Taylor
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